等待

(photo was taken at Varkala, India - November 2011)

也许， 是现在这一刻的心情吧！

当我学会了放下， 我就不在等了

如果你想回心转意 就要乘早

可能下一秒 我就放下 就不等了 就不在了

Back in 2011

Now, 2012. Started to look back this blog which i have ignored for almost a year. Always thought writing blog is like writing something that not real, and it may be just a thought at that moment. It may change in the next minutes.

True enough to say so but now, when i looked back those blogs. I am glad that i have written some, lots that i have missed out. It captures not only the incident or the thought, but it reflects the changes that i have experienced and i can see where i have been going through or moving to and i have grown up in person.

In order to recap those moment in year 2011, i guess it will have to start from photos as photos will help me to bring back those moment and memories. Let's photos do the story teller for year 2011.

:)

About Depression

This was written on February 1, 2010 in one of my teacher blog about depression. Below is my sharing. Look back, i never thought i could write something like that, pretty impressive..hahahaha.....sometimes, we need to learn from the past as human are very forgetful!!

Here is my sharing:

Depressed, i believed i had it too. May be not the serious one. May be i would rather named it as LOST. This happened before i met Yoga. Why i am so sure about it, because the feeling of searching. searching of something which i don’t even know ‘it’s existence’. The uncertainty was playing the role most of the time. But it just stopped now, i am grateful.

By giving the opportunity to know yoga, know detachment, which have given me the opportunity to see the big picture of life. Which it is so true that when u look back, u r actually reacting with NOTHING. The thing which is impermanent, which is NOTHING.

When u attached with the ‘feelings’, sometimes u r not aware of it, as it is happening to u. It is the EGO of ‘me’, “I’ and “mine”…It just like swimming in the small pool with lots of people and lots of kids. U feel that it will be so crowded with so many people in such a small pool.

Without being able to see a bigger picture, u will still be wondering around in the small pool and started to mumble and complain. U will be hoping that these people to get out of the pool so that u can have a peaceful pool to swim around freely (it is the expectation). As u attached to it so much, without realizing that the pool is for public, everyone have the rights to swim there. They are enjoying the crowd except u.

If u learn to detach from it, no matter how crowded the pool it is, as it is for public, u will accept the fact (just like life, accepting the nature of life)and just enjoy ur swim and get out from the pool when u are done. You will not be swimming there forever and why u r so upset about it.

But if u r only in the process of learning the detachment,u will then need a bigger pool so that u can swim freely. Instead cursing at the people in the pool, you should look at yourself, is you!! Change the pool then. It is just like learning to be a happy person, if you are not strong enough to detach from the negative energy, then u need happy and cheerful friends. But if you are strong enough, no matter what kind of friends you have, there will be no different between good and bad friends. Back to the basic, it is YOU!!!!

Never feel bad about being strong or not strong enough. IF you dare to confront yourself for being not strong enough and the courage to face the fact, then u will be stronger when you r ready.But, a lot of people gave up and surrendered to the EGO as they dare not confront their weak moment.

That what i always believe, take good care of own heart, feed it with love, kindness, tolerance, forgiveness and detachment, and u will be in peace. Never stop believing in practicing good thoughts and good views, You are not being taken for granted, you are actually being given the benefit of seeing a bigger picture of life and happiness.

IF you never let go the EGO, how are you going to confront your weakness. Only when u see and accept your weakness, you will be able to stand up and be a stronger person and never worry about showing your weakness to others. What others said will not affect you anymore, because you know yourself and you have accepted yourself.

It will be very sad if you are not able to realize if you keep on attaching to the things which is impermanent. You will not find peace! Because your mind only fill with negative energy and you only focus on sadness. Your mind and heart have no space for peacefulness and happiness.

Let go the ego. Ego will not bring u far, only bring you suffering.Let go, let go!!!!

Mission 2010 - Visit to Muzium Negara

I have been passing through this road for years and everytimes i see Muzium Negara, i always said "hey, we should find our way there somedays, we should lahhh..." and guess what, the story always ended up nothing.

Last weekend, an extra-ordinary weekend, extra-ordinary for me means by extra-ordinary free weekend where i have finally found myself time to have my breakfast in one of my favourite vegetarian restuarant near Bangsar Villa. This restuarant served 'fantastic' vegetarian 'chao siew' pao.

It was brunch to us actually as we, which means myself and my 2 beloved housemates, we made our way to the restuarant almost 15mins passed 11 in the morning. It was absolutely a nice and breezing morning for a weekend. If not because of the 'cha siew pao', i believed i will still be hybernating.

Nothing much to be seen during the visit to Muzium Negara. We only know that the entrance to the Muzium Negara only cost RM2.00 per entry and car park entrance fees is RM2.00 per car. Honestly, it is nothing much to be seen in the Muzium other than rocks, some skeletons, a few Coffin and of cause the themes or philosophy that we have learned in our 'Sejarah' subject like Zaman Batu, Zaman Neolitic and many more. There are 4 different halls in the main building of the Muzium Negara which differentiate different era.

It seemed to be Snake Exhibition that week itself so we also stopped by for the snake show. Entertaining show but not really into snake things.

Before we heading back to the car, just right beside the parking space where there a small hall on Orang Asli which is our last hall to visit before heading back home. I always love things about Orang Asli. I guess my next trip will be Muzium Orang Asli which located somewhere not very far from where i stay. I have been always wanted to visit Kampung Orang Asli but never have a chance to do so.

The value is not much on the visit, but it is more on things in our daily life.

We have been passing through this highway for so many times and Muzium Negara has been there for ages.

Sometimes thing that we used to see, life that we used to live in and places that we used to go or road that we used to drive through, it seems to be there for ages and it is become part of our journey which we tend to forget and take it for granted until one day when it disappeared, then only we realized that we have lost something that we might not even aware of having it.

Things that it seems nothing to us today may be something special tomorrow when you discovered it is gone even before you have noticed that it has been with you for all the times.

Human tend to take things for granted as long as we never feel the lost and we tend to feel regret or sorry for losing it as we never have the chance to appreciate the existence of it's appearence.

It takes a simple step like visiting Muzium Negara to get me realized that how easy it was to fullfill a wish. I have been wanting to go Muzium Negara for ages since the first day i stepped into Kuala Lumpur but i never did it. Now, i can say it out loud, I HAVE BEEN TO MUZIUM NEGARA. My next mission 2010 is to take KL Hop-On-Hop-Off KL Tour and also Muzium Orang Asli.

We used to think that we want to this somedays and we want to go there somedays and we were hold up by so many excuses.

Live life to the fullest like it is your last. Your life will be a colour world with just a little 'YES MAN SPIRIT". Walk the talk and never talk the walk. The secret of meaningful life is just around the corner. We can make changes with just a little extra effort. That's what i believe.

分享就是快乐（一）

“哇，你现在教瑜伽了！一定赚大钱咯！！”

让我来告诉你，如果不是分享的心得，如果不是瑜伽改变了我的人生，那么瑜伽将会是我其中一个我用来消遣我多余的时间，一个能让我减肥的运动罢了！！

要我当面，大厅广众，说话？？？你真是开玩笑吧？！？！？

认识我的朋友都知道，我是个活泼可爱，什么都说的开心果。
都说了，是认识的朋友，才知道。
那么，陌生人呢？也该没什么大问题吧！！
那你就大错特错咯！！！

还记得刚踏进瑜伽这个世界，
纯粹都是为了填补那多余的时间，
还有那颗好奇的心。
和其他人一样，“什么是瑜伽？怎么这么流行啊？到底是什么东东？”
那时，内心的空虚感，越来越汹涌。
就是因为这个空虚，让我有了勇气去认识了瑜伽！！
这个勇气与决定，我并不后悔。
也因此，我的人生改变了！！

瑜伽果然很神奇，
不是在与那些高难度， 那些你想“这一辈子不可能”的动作。
而是学会摆脱“以上”的思想。。

很多人都说，“哇，你学瑜伽？！？ 你的身体一定很软咯！！”
我老师常说“没错！这样的想法是没错的！”

的确这种想法是没错，
可惜，瑜伽并不只如此，并不如此肤浅啊！！！
因此，我有了分享的心得。。。

在我老师还没问我“有没有兴趣教瑜伽”前，
认识我的朋友，没几个知道我有学瑜伽。
不是刻意隐瞒，就是觉得没什么好炫耀的。。。
认识我的，当问起我“怎么样了，瑜伽学了什么啊？”
我就会不停的，把我的感想与感恩，一一的分享了。
朋友问我：你老师给你commission啊！
最后，大家哈哈大笑了！！

那时，就觉得 ‘我找到了！我找到了！’
找到我心中纳闷已久的空虚，找都我心中空虚的伴了！！
就是“contentment"!!!
这个归宿感，我在瑜伽找到了。

学了四年，就抱着学习的心态，不断地学习， 不断地前进，同时也学了如何放下。
心想，我好幸福，遇见这么好的老师，遇见了瑜伽。
好想大家也来分享这份快乐。。。

学了四年的某一天，
我老师即将要飞去泰国一个星期，
她问了我这一句 ‘有兴趣教瑜伽吗？’
我还记得，我看了她很久，也hmmmmm了很久，
就说 ：也没什么兴不兴趣的。 可以与其他人分享，也是不错的哦。毕竟，瑜伽是很好的东西。

我老师接着“我将要飞往泰国去，你帮我代课一个星期， 可以吗？”
我说“啊！！你是认真的吗？我可没想过叻！！hmmmm......."
我老师说“如果你能帮我代课，那么下次我去印度，家里的水电费，屋租，就不用烦了。如果这一次代课，学生能够接受你，那我就不用烦了。”老师大概是这么说的吧，这一段，没什么印象了。

想想，老师，你是真的烦呢还是？？？你可有你的一套哦。。哈哈哈

就这样，我与瑜伽，开始了我们俩的路程。。。。

看来我要转行了。。。

心好累，好累。。。
看到人世间丑恶的画面。。

还以为在学院上班，
见到的不就是学生，
人也比较年轻，
遇到的也该是很单纯的。
问题也不会很复杂吧！！

我错了，真的错了。。。

就在那么短短的几个星期内，
怎么这么多事情发生，
我总共遇到了3单forged MC
还是费了很多力气才把真相很丑陋的揭晓。。。

有的扮无辜，戏剧化到。。。扮晕倒！！！
爸爸说要告上律师馆啦，要上报等等。。。
真实揭晓了，爸爸也流泪了。。。
那又何必呢？？

有的扮无知，戏剧化到。。。找假医生来做证！！！
真实揭晓了，自己都流泪了。。。
那又何苦呢？？

最终，我们要的不是你们的伤悲，
我们要的不是你们的泪水，
我们要得只是你们的忏悔和改过，
淡然的面对错误， 承受你做的过错，
负起你应得的责任，
淡然面对自己。。。。。

Forgive, Learn and Move On

Lots people used to say, life is full of choices

U may think it in a positive way and u may think it in a negative way

Negative way is to keep complaining that why u have been given so much choices which makes ur life misserable.

Positive way is to be grateful that u have been given choices in ur life that u can choose.

Irregardless u choose the right or the wrong one, but definately u have thought about it before u make ur choice, so stick with it and believe with what u have chosen.

Sometimes, u will find out that it was the wrong choice.

Accept the fact that u have made the mistake, made the wrong choice.

Forgive yourself, learn from it and MOVE ON.

Lots people can't just move on because they can't forgive themselves for the mistakes they have done to themselves or others.

If you can't move on, ask yourself, have you forgive yourself for the mistakes you have done??

How may years you have sufferred for this and how many more years you plan to keep yourself suffering???

Is time to let go........

Is time to forgive yourself.....

Is time to learn from the mistakes....

Is time to MOVE ON.......