My first Backpacking to KK, Sabah - Part 1

It was something that i have done in Year 2011 which i felt i should have blogged it down. The meaning behind this backpacking. It was my 31st birthday as well. Used to feel that birthday should not only be celebrating with great food, it should be some motivation to push ourselves to do something that we also think and think or we wish to do, we plan to do, we thought of doing it and many many more excuses, where birthday should the so called 'SPECIAL DAY' to make those plans, dreams or though came true!! So, on my 31st birthday, i started my first revolution, my first backpacking to a place which i have planned for almost 2 years to do but never did. "Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, here i come!!!"

First backpacking with myself, to a place where i have nobody that i know of. I used to traveled alone but never really alone where i have friend to meet up, but not for this trip. Total strangers.

Think back, it was fun after all with those courage from nowhere and the high spirit and motivation from nowhere, i was really out of my mind. I traveled truly like local. I am very impress with myself..hahahha...

The first thing in my mind, "I CAN'T WAIT ANY LONGER", my impatient actually was the one the push me. I have been talking about CUTI-CUTI Malaysia and Sabah is one of the top places in my list. I have been mentioning about this place for 2 years!! 2 years!!! 'WHY I CAN'T TRAVEL BY MY OWN?" that was the question i asked my self. "GREAT! LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE AIR ASIA TICKET"....hmmm...RM135.98..without thinking so much, i bought the ticket!! FINALLY!!!!!!! 9 to 13 April 2011, KK here i come!!!!

It was actually a trial for myself to travel alone, to build the confidence and courage. To be honest. I am not as brave as i thought after all. As i planned to go India by myself, so Sabah backpacking, is a trial for me. To prove to myself that ' I CAN SURVIVE!!', and i did, i am survive and still surviving.hehehe...

I did blogging alot about KK, lots lots of reading!! that's was after a week of buying the ticket and before a week of departure, to be honest!! hehehe...looked at the map, food to hunt and planned my journey according to days of travel and location / places to visit and of cause HOW TO GO. I restricted my budget within RM500 so i have to travel like LOCAL and i did it, of cause not counting ALL the souvenirs that i brought back. In total i spent RM660.05, not bad after all.

Let's the photos tell you the story:

While waiting for the flight at LCCT. Still remember that feeling, i wasn't panic and nervous until i was nearly boarding, that's me ^^. Thought backpacking must be very cool. It was cool and fun though, but i was starting to nervous and i kept on asking myself  'what am i doing here'.hahahahha...

 That's the backpack i bought in Vietnam few years back, only RM80. He is one of my partner for the trip ^^. No choice to ask backpack as my partner. Starting to feel the loneliness but luckily i have iPhone and 3G. I uploaded the phone straight after i snapped it to my facebook. After all, i was not travelling alone. ^^

 A gift from Rebecca for my 31st birthday, iPhone cover. Handmade by Rebecca. She is also one of my partner for the trip. She is lovely, isn't she? ^^

 The view from my seat, i got the seat near to the window, lucky me.

This was the place i stays during the trip. Thanks to Keen Hong for recommending this. It was absolute pleasant place to stay. Affordable, Comfortable, Convenience and most important, CLEAN!

Reception + dining area.

 This is my room, 5 sharing with air-con. RM25 per night.

After check-in, it was about 9.30pm. I have some night walk to the Filipino night market. It seems that night is still early over there.

 Not only wet market, they also have Ikan bakar there.

As i was very hungry, i ordered one Ikan Bakar and Sotong Bakar for myself. After all, eat alone never be a  fun thing to do. I missed my buddies now.hahahha....so that i can order more and we can share!!

My first night. Good night everyone.


To be continued.......

我们的歌

是在寻找解脱的方法吧
前一阵子   脑海里  不短地浮现
很多的想法， 很多的不舍，
很多的犹豫， 很多的遗憾
很多的也许， 很多的可能性
不受控制的  象坏了的卡带
画面不停的晃来晃去
胸口闷闷的  好象心脏病快要发了
连呼吸也变的很困难  好像空气变稀薄了
有种随时会断气的感觉

很努力的在寻找  能医治对你的思念
在不同的歌曲里 寻找我们的故事
寻找知音者  寻找归宿感
然而才发现  每个人都有属于自己的故事

*听你说什么我都很快乐
*接近你连影子都微笑著
在郁可唯的好朋友只是朋友里
却发现了 原来自己要的并不多
我的笑点也不知何时  也变低了
*越懂你陪你越寂寞
*灵魂那么美我却碰不得
也许这也是我最遗憾的吧
*却怎么折都折不掉  那道无形的隔阂
很无奈吧？
也许郁可唯说的也对
*认识你也许我就足够了
*缘份的深浅我都不管了
*哪怕很痛过  至少就不算错过

就像黄小琥的没那么简单
*没那么简单  就能找到聊得来的伴
她也说了
*幸福没那么容易
*才会特别让人着迷
我猜我也是这样吧？

*我猜你也不舍的
*也许你不是我的
*分开或许是选择
*但它也可能是我们的缘份
谢谢Tanya的空白格
也许是你我的缘份

莫文蔚的爱情
听了却不陌生
听了好帖切
却发现  是回忆了
真的  已成过去了
至少勇于，坦诚的面对
也开始学会放下了

果然没说错
Tanya 的 Beautiful Love
*你的出现在无一中  却深深撼动我
*一起走着  没说什么  心是满足的
我看  她也和我一样庆幸
遇见过那个你

不知何时

不知何时   无意中你却占据了我的心
不知何时   没你的消息却开始想念你
不知何时   却和寂寞交了朋友
只想问候你   最近还好吗？ 还有失眠吗？
还有说梦话吗？ 睡觉还会发很多梦吗？
近来还会不开心吗？

咖啡

在同一瞬间， 失去了真爱， 也找到了真爱。
不占有的爱， 更是一种修行。
就因为真爱不易， 也变的珍贵。
很努力， 很努力的， 把你淡忘。
却迎来了淡淡的失落， 好象忘了加糖的咖啡。

淡忘

有种莫名其妙的失落感

应该是这么形容最贴切吧！

有种失望 有种遗憾

完美中的不完美 我深深的体会了

很努力的把自己叫醒

却发现自己不在梦里

不想把你忘掉 也无法把你忘掉

只有努力的把你淡忘

淡忘你的笑

淡忘你所有的冷笑话

淡忘你诚恳坦然的心

淡忘你担心着急的摸样

淡忘纳闷，无奈，愧疚的你

淡忘你我之间的默契

渐渐的 把你淡忘

不占有的爱

单身的她

应该是不肯妥协

我行我素 还是自以为是

享受没有约束的生活

享受随性跟着自己的步伐

想往哪 就往哪

是有性格 还是顽固固执 没耐性

迁就的美德 她还学不会

试着学习妥协 努力的学习迁就

要怎么爱

要怎么学习一份不占有的爱

嗨

嗨，最近好吗？

Healing

My mind in doubt and confusion, i admitted, my mind is in a MESS. I am dealing with the mind.

I keep searching, craving and wanting more for the pleasant sensation to feed and satisfy my ego, my greed and my ignorance. I thought my heart is invulnerable until i met you (in a good way).

I blamed for all the things happened in the past and i wish i could make it up for you, so you will be happier and it might be 'happily ever after' for both of us. I guess i am wrong.

You are teaching me something, your life is teaching me something and i couldn't figure it out until now. Until i learn to let go the attachment towards the desire of wanting more of the sense of satisfaction, acknowledgement, interaction, love and attention from you, from us.

I search for the answer that fit into my desire, i search for the so-called perfect answer that could feed my ego until i learn about compassionate love and detachment.

I sense all the suffers and pains you have in you. I wish i could take it all away and give you a happier life. But you are the only one who can heal your heart and soul. You are the creator of your own destiny. Feed it with LOVE, my friend. LOVE will heal you.

Thanks to you, thanks to what happened between us. I am learning another chapter of my life. I am practicing compassionate love without attachment. That's the only way to free myself from ignorance. ^_^

也许

她希望他没有愧疚

她希望他没有执著

她希望他会活的更自由自在

她希望他的童年是愉快的

也许结局会不一样了

那又算什么

比起他的执著 她的纳闷又算得了什么

比起他的无奈 她的心疼又算得了什么

比起他的愧疚 她的遗憾又算得了什么

还以为

我还以为 我没有了感觉

对人， 事， 物

是你让我心动了 我流泪了

原来我还有感觉的。。。。

想念

我又开始写Blog了

放空已旧的它 开始有故事听了

我触碰到真爱 很努力的学习不占有

原来想念一个人 是这样的感觉

突然感觉空气稀薄 有种随时会断气的感觉

奇妙之旅

这是在Pangkor岛拍的， 是十一月， 二零一零年的照片。

觉得照片很有意识。

认识了许多瑜伽的朋友，激发了我对那刻有的想法。

大家都在学瑜伽， 也对瑜伽有的想法和看法也有所不同。对瑜伽有着不同的期望。 有的是为了健身， 有的是为了消遣多余的时间， 有的是为了挑战瑜伽的高难度动作， 有的是寻找平静， 有的是身，心， 灵的一种修行。

在不同的看法， 想法于期望， 能相聚相识， 也是一种缘份。

爱上摄影

不知从何开始， 记忆应该从小开始吧。还记得那感受， 还很清楚的。 羡慕的眼光， 看这别人手上拿的照相机。总觉得， 照相机是个很神奇的工具。它能把眼前看到的“一刹那”，就只是一按， 一秒后， 就变成了回忆。 它能甚至在同一个地点， 就只是用不同的角度， 却变成了另外的画面， 有着不同的感觉。

家里， 不是很富有， 但绝不贫穷。 爸爸都是很简单的过生活， 不奢侈。 所以， 买照相机， 就别想了。

还记得， 第一架相机， 是在马六甲买的。 其实是想了很多很多年了， 就是不舍。 其实， 买第一架 相机时， 是无可否认是有点冲动。 就在一家店， 看了几架。 然后， 放下后， 走了广场一圈， 不到半小时， 又专回头， 把那相机买了。 还记得， 那相机， 是Nikon Coolpix, 旧款的。 因为新款的才出， 所以价格就便宜多了。RM499, 买下了我的第一部数码相机。 ^_^

（用Nikon Coolpix拍的， 还不错吧！）

第一部数码相机也有三岁多了， 还很健康的。 ^_^

渐渐爱上了摄影。。。。

（Nikon Coolpix, 不错吧！ 很有Feel哦！ 谢谢我的模特儿， 我的舍友）

（也学会了一点点的photo editing, 嘻嘻！)

就这一系列的照片， 激发了我对摄影的热诚， 想要让自己在摄影里， 有更大的进步空间。 然而， DSLR就列在我的购物单。 仅仅的挣扎了两年！ 两年！ 真的佩服了自己的耐性。 就在一个朋友的激发之下， 就在五月二十九日， 二零一零年的下午。 在我朋友的陪同下， 我买了我的‘宝贝- Nikon D90".

(第一次握着‘宝贝’。 哈哈哈， 现在看了，Harlo, 左手不是这样握相机的哦， 朋友！哈哈）

拿了我梦寐以求好久的大相机， 还记得， 当时的我， 简直是不敢相信！ 是真的吗？ 真的买了吗？说实的， 一点兴奋的感觉也没有耶， 反而有点慌。 一直在脑海里， 不停的问自己， 重负的问自己， 是不是冲动了呢？ 是真的必要买吗？ 还蛮不便宜的喜好。 确定吗？ 真的确定吗？ 可是， 那是已经买了相机后， 浮现的问题！！ 哈哈哈！！现在， 我很肯定的可以说， 我不后悔。

有了‘宝贝’ 的陪伴下， 旅行也变的更加有活力， 有色彩， 有意义了。

我的生活， 因此变的更漂亮， 更有色彩了。

Everyday is a beautiful day with Nikon D90.........

不完美， 而是完整

人生， 就是不完美啊！ 而是完整 ！

完整包含了完美于不完美的

这就是人生

你听懂了吗？

该放下的， 就放下吧

就因为结局不是你想要的 不是完美的 才让你怎么执谜不悔

是不甘心， 还是不舍， 还是真的放不下， 还是放不开

怎样都好

一切有所安排 那就要相信 一切会有所安排

如果那是你要开的门 没钥匙 也能进去

因为门后面 已有人在等着你

等待

(photo was taken at Varkala, India - November 2011)

也许， 是现在这一刻的心情吧！

当我学会了放下， 我就不在等了

如果你想回心转意 就要乘早

可能下一秒 我就放下 就不等了 就不在了

Back in 2011

Now, 2012. Started to look back this blog which i have ignored for almost a year. Always thought writing blog is like writing something that not real, and it may be just a thought at that moment. It may change in the next minutes.

True enough to say so but now, when i looked back those blogs. I am glad that i have written some, lots that i have missed out. It captures not only the incident or the thought, but it reflects the changes that i have experienced and i can see where i have been going through or moving to and i have grown up in person.

In order to recap those moment in year 2011, i guess it will have to start from photos as photos will help me to bring back those moment and memories. Let's photos do the story teller for year 2011.

:)

About Depression

This was written on February 1, 2010 in one of my teacher blog about depression. Below is my sharing. Look back, i never thought i could write something like that, pretty impressive..hahahaha.....sometimes, we need to learn from the past as human are very forgetful!!

Here is my sharing:

Depressed, i believed i had it too. May be not the serious one. May be i would rather named it as LOST. This happened before i met Yoga. Why i am so sure about it, because the feeling of searching. searching of something which i don’t even know ‘it’s existence’. The uncertainty was playing the role most of the time. But it just stopped now, i am grateful.

By giving the opportunity to know yoga, know detachment, which have given me the opportunity to see the big picture of life. Which it is so true that when u look back, u r actually reacting with NOTHING. The thing which is impermanent, which is NOTHING.

When u attached with the ‘feelings’, sometimes u r not aware of it, as it is happening to u. It is the EGO of ‘me’, “I’ and “mine”…It just like swimming in the small pool with lots of people and lots of kids. U feel that it will be so crowded with so many people in such a small pool.

Without being able to see a bigger picture, u will still be wondering around in the small pool and started to mumble and complain. U will be hoping that these people to get out of the pool so that u can have a peaceful pool to swim around freely (it is the expectation). As u attached to it so much, without realizing that the pool is for public, everyone have the rights to swim there. They are enjoying the crowd except u.

If u learn to detach from it, no matter how crowded the pool it is, as it is for public, u will accept the fact (just like life, accepting the nature of life)and just enjoy ur swim and get out from the pool when u are done. You will not be swimming there forever and why u r so upset about it.

But if u r only in the process of learning the detachment,u will then need a bigger pool so that u can swim freely. Instead cursing at the people in the pool, you should look at yourself, is you!! Change the pool then. It is just like learning to be a happy person, if you are not strong enough to detach from the negative energy, then u need happy and cheerful friends. But if you are strong enough, no matter what kind of friends you have, there will be no different between good and bad friends. Back to the basic, it is YOU!!!!

Never feel bad about being strong or not strong enough. IF you dare to confront yourself for being not strong enough and the courage to face the fact, then u will be stronger when you r ready.But, a lot of people gave up and surrendered to the EGO as they dare not confront their weak moment.

That what i always believe, take good care of own heart, feed it with love, kindness, tolerance, forgiveness and detachment, and u will be in peace. Never stop believing in practicing good thoughts and good views, You are not being taken for granted, you are actually being given the benefit of seeing a bigger picture of life and happiness.

IF you never let go the EGO, how are you going to confront your weakness. Only when u see and accept your weakness, you will be able to stand up and be a stronger person and never worry about showing your weakness to others. What others said will not affect you anymore, because you know yourself and you have accepted yourself.

It will be very sad if you are not able to realize if you keep on attaching to the things which is impermanent. You will not find peace! Because your mind only fill with negative energy and you only focus on sadness. Your mind and heart have no space for peacefulness and happiness.

Let go the ego. Ego will not bring u far, only bring you suffering.Let go, let go!!!!